Part 3: The Becoming

It’s the second lap and I am absolutely pegged. On the rivet. In the red. I am wondering what I got myself into. Looking at my heart rate monitor only made it worse, as I am pinned at 175 bpm. How I am going to go this fast for 45 minutes? Do all bike races go this fast?

All these thoughts and doubts were racing through my head, as I was just trying to finish. After this short track mountain bike race, I was completely hooked into racing. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. It put any sport or any workout I have ever done into ultimate shame.

After realizing that I had no idea what the hell I was doing, I sought help in our Directeur Sportif, who also ran Colorado Premier Training. After a few meetings, I decided that hiring on a professional coach was the quickest way to improve.

Through some excellent guidance, I began training with a purpose and saw exponential gains. After working hard all winter I went head first into my first road season with CSU not knowing to expect. I came into the season prepared, and during my first year I had great success with various podiums and some top 10s in the Men’s “A” division. I was selected as an alternate rider for Collegiate Nationals, but was unable to attend due to a punctured lung. I was able to take some rest, and during the Colorado road season, I was able to go from a Category 5 to a Category 3 rider in that same period.

Moving into my final year of college, I was setting and achieving goals early on in the season and was learning a lot about myself and how I fit into races. I had the great support of the Rio Grande Cycling Team, to make sure that my grades didn’t dip down because of my cycling commitment, and also good team building in the races where everyone had their chance to ride for the win. Being my last year at CSU, my only goal was to race Nationals.

I was so focused on this, my training started in December and every race was in preparation for Nationals. My fellow teammates and I would spend 10-15 hours a week together, over the next four months, prepping for the race. As the dates got finalized, I noticed that Nationals coincided with my graduation. I had been waiting to race Nationals for two years and I was not giving up the opportunity, so I skipped graduation, much to the dismay of my family, even though they had given me full support and were very proud of what I had accomplished.

Nationals were a big event and I was in a state of shock at the environment of the event. The rider fields were massive, and the depth of talent was amazing. I was racing with guys that years before I had only read about. The crit even was amazing, and despite having some rain, it was the fastest race I had ever done. I was able to avoid all the crashes and came in a respectable 44th place out of 163 starters.

The road race was set to be an even harder course, rolling all day with a 15% finishing climb, which we were set to do 4 laps on. From the start the race was every bit as fast as the crit and with the wind, we sat in the gutter, single file all day. Luck was not on my side, and as the field shredded down to about 60 guys with 20 miles to go, I came completely unglued and couldn’t even turn over the pedals.

After some immense hydration, I was functional again and ready for the coveted Team Time Trial, the event we had been practicing all season. After a good warm up, everything was looking good as we blazed the fastest time to the first turn around. Unfortunately, our bad luck continued as our team captain flatted. We kept it together and finished 23rd out of 40 universities. This weekend helped lay the foundation to see what its like to race at national level and planted the seed to get to that level.




After a few months back in Colorado, my family convinced me to relocate with them to Florida. I spent some time researching cycling and got in contact with Darrell Cunningham from Orlando Velo via email, and Darrell was very welcoming and helpful in guiding me to the group rides and online information about racing in the area. After a weekend of Errol and Windermere rides with Darrell (who owns B3 Café in Orlando) and Darrell Pounders, I was welcomed into the Orlando Velo family with open arms. The guys were very enthusiastic, and I was very excited to be a part of their team.

to be concluded...

San Antonio Road Race and Dade City Criterium

Welcome back to racing here in Florida, we are going full bore. As we went into the third week of racing, I got a nice midweek surprise to see that I was second place overall in the state rankings(Results Here). Going into what I felt to be the hardest road race course in the state and one of the more technical crits, I had a lot of motivation to do well.

San Antonio Road Race:

As we started Saturday with a full field of 108 riders, we were set to do 4 laps of a 17 mile hilly circuit. I was glad to have Chris Keane out there. During the first lap it was mostly single file and I was wondering if it was going to be a long day! Lap 2 continued with the pace and Chris and I found ourselves apart of a massive 30 man split. The group started out well, but then as usual some teams took inventory of who was at the party and the speed dropped. Things all came back together and at the start of the third lap on the first hill, I hit it as hard as I could and was off the front. Next thing I know, there is a break group of 7 riders rolling turns with a two minute gap. I was fine with doing my share of the work, when suddenly Frank Traveiso, Dave Guttenplan and one of Frank’s teammates bridged the gap.

At this point, Frank’s team (Herbalife/Racer’s Edge) had 3 riders in the break and my time in the wind was completely eliminated. The attacks started on the last lap, and I decided to make a move with 6 miles to go with two other guys, unfortunately it was short lived as we got caught two miles later. Coming into the last stretch we began to surge as the attacks started. Coming into the finishing straight I was able to tap down third with a late surge.

Dade City Criterium:

Sunday’s course is always an interesting one, a short 6 corner technical crit with brick roads. With 70 starters it was looking like it could be a single file adventure! The race started and I made sure I was at the front and attacked on lap 2, getting a small break going with Yosvanny Falcon and Pro Mountain biker Earl Bradley. We were maintaining a 20 second gap and about 25 minutes in it started to lightly rain. Suddenly upon entering corner five I lipped the edge of a sewer manhole and found my way onto the pavement at 30 mph. I popped up and realized my shifter was broken and was binding up the front brake. Upon getting to the pits, I disconnected the front brake and saw that as I crashed, Chris Keane had made his was to the front and closed down the break remnants. I got back in the race and as it got more wet I slid out again, went to the pits for spare wheels and got back in.
Chris realized that things were getting a little to hectic and came out of the race. I sat in the group suffering. Another break had started and was gaining time on the field and I was content with a field finish. With 20 laps to go, Z-motion decided they were going to make it interesting at bring it back together, the gap went from 45 seconds to 20 seconds in 10 laps. The break was in sight and somehow I felt better. With 6 laps to go, I jumped across to the break and then caught my breath, and attacked with 3 laps to go. This drew out the big sprinters Frank Traveiso and Yosvanny Falcon and we rolled until the finish. Taking third I was happy to be on the podium especially after hitting the deck

Nice Surprise

So as in life, we all go through ups and downs. Right now things have been going down, I have done my best to stay positive, when I came home to this.

http://www.floridacycling.com/Articles/Pro1-2.pdf

I knew I had been racing strong, but holy crap, I managed somehow to become 2nd place overall in the Florida Points Series. This is over some pretty big names too. So a little lesson for you all, when things look bleak, have hope because greatness is around the corner.

Another Release

Seems like we are getting some good press! Keep fighting the good fight!

http://www.dailypeloton.com/displayarticle.asp?pk=13948

Part 2: The Departed

Grabbing my 40-pound mountain bike, knowing that I would have to rely on it as my only method of transportation, was earth shattering. The thought of 36 miles on that steel beast made me feel just of my punishment. Letting go and moving on are always the hardest part. Albeit, losing my license and ability to travel freely felt horrible; I remember telling myself to be optimistic and embrace the things that were happening to me, not to cherish them but to harness them as a means to become something better.



Change is something that is not easy; its difficult, ugly and constant work. This situation was definitely not one of grace, with a mid 90’s steel mountain bike that had not been ridden in years and the 230 pound out-of-shape partier riding it 140 miles a week to get to work and school. The idea seemed insane to everyone around me; no one believed that I would actually get on the bike and ride, everyone was holding their breath wanting me to ask them for transportation.

Starting out the first week was miserable and I remember thinking this was going to be the worst six months ever. My optimism would remind me that at least it wasn’t winter. After the second week, I began to find peace and discover myself in ways that I never knew were possible. I knew now at this point that I would never ask for transportation and thus my love for cycling began. Instead of dreading the morning ride to school, I began to embrace it. After the first month, one of my co-workers offered me a newer road bike and shoes that he no longer wanted, it was an offer I couldn’t refuse.

Slowly those around me saw the change inside of me, as well as a physical change. I was becoming leaner, happier and more focused than I had been in years. Personally, I was feeling amazing and more confident. My weight had dipped under 200 pounds for the first time in 3 years. Although, this change was coming slowly and I wanted to embrace it as much as possible. This meant going beyond working out, this meant DIET!




In order to keep change moving, I had to dig deep and give up things I loved. This meant no more fast food, no more sweets and pretty much no more anything that tasted delicious. I remember having to convince myself of the values of fruit and vegetables while hating how they tasted. This was not going to be easy, but for the first time in my life I felt like I had control of a situation. I had the power and reserve to make it through even the hardest tasks.

As my love for cycling grew, riding for necessity turned into riding for recreation. Riding provided the structure from definite chaos. The recreational rides increased, so did my desire to try my hand at racing, and Colorado State University provided an excellent resource in its collegiate division. I was lucky to have some friends that were established officers with the team which made joining hassle free. It was something new and exciting for me; something that I was going head first into with no idea of the commitment required. But with that aside, I departed with my prior self and went looking into uncharted grounds…

Team Press Release 2009

Hey Everyone, Our team press release hit this morning featured on the front page of Velonews, http://www.velonews.com/article/86340/ten-speed-driveellsworth-factory-cycling-team

Part One: The Meeting

As featured on Armada Racing,

I gave myself three choices:

1. Join the Marines.
   
2. Change my life.
   
3. Stop playing around and end it.

It finally had come to this point. After the past two weeks hoping I wouldn’t wake up, I’d finally hit the bottom. I knew something had to change because I could not go on being this miserable.

My day included waking up hung over, going to class, going to work and then drinking; but not to enjoy, but rather, to fill the void. I knew this wasn’t meant for me, so I had a “meeting” with myself, giving the three most rational answers I could come up with. I sat alone in my room pondering each one, thinking of the pros and cons.

At the time, door number one was looking to be the best option after a few recruiting visits and to validate, I would drop subtle hints at family dinners to gauge reactions…
I knew that the Marines and certain deployment in Afghanistan was not my path. Wanting to fight for the flag and fighting for myself were two different things that did not line up.

After thinking about ending everything violently, I knew that the love that I had for my family would never let me do this either. Having them discover such a scene was something I couldn’t stomach regardless of how depressed I was.

This left one option: CHANGE… Just by luck this would not be the easiest choice either, but after this meeting I was determined to be happy and find a path in life. I knew this was going to be a change for the long haul and that changes that work need to be slow and lasting.

But wait! What was I changing?

Going back in time, I was about 16 when this all started, playing competitive youth hockey, the sport also provided a lifestyle of drinking and partying. After high school I lost interest in the sport, but still wanted and needed that party lifestyle. Before I knew it, the lifestyle had swallowed me whole, forging two years of my life over to the bottle. Work did not help since I worked in a hockey shop, which perpetuated this lifestyle. It was perfectly normal for us to come to work, still a wreck from the night before. This was my life, and it provided a nice hole of depression for me to crawl into, and as it happened, I didn't realize it until I was already at the bottom.

So back to change, which was surprisingly easier than I thought. It became easy to not drink every night, and I had made steady improvements over a month-long period. Unfortunately this was not good enough; one slip up is very easy and comes suddenly.

I remember being upset about getting sent to the Boulder store location, but had no choice but to go. Basically this meant that I would be getting home even later for my Friday night out. After a long afternoon at the Boulder location, with no staff besides myself, I was ready for a drink. One thing leads to another and next thing I know I am drinking and driving. Despite the risk, I am almost home, planning my night out and as I stop for a red light, BOOM, I get plowed into. I remember seeing the headlights thinking “oh no” but there was no avoiding. My car is totaled; the damage wasn’t even explainable until I pulled myself out of the car. I realize the person behind me is seriously injured, both cars are totaled and I am seriously screwed.

As the police approach, part of me feels like this whole situation can still be ok while the other side knows we are imminently doomed. It doesn’t take much for the officer to realize that I am under influence and next thing I know I am doing roadside tests like a bad episode of Cops, knowing that any hope of not getting arrested is over. After my humiliation, I am handcuffed and thrown in the back of the police cruiser pondering how things could be any worse and how I am going to explain this to everyone.

To my surprise, because I was rather orderly and compliant with the officer, I was able to avoid spending anytime in jail and got released a few hours later to one of my friends. Finally upon getting home, I faced the inevitable, waking my parents up at 1:00 am to break the news. I was shocked by their reaction; they were comforting and happy that I wasn’t the one who caused the accident. They calmed me down and had me get some rest.

The next day I was proactive about the situation, knowing it was a delicate one; I contacted my employer and Eric Sunness, a good friend who was also a great lawyer. I continued to be surprised by the reactions of those around me, and this brought me hope knowing that these people were supporting me through this. After some legal meetings, it was apparent that I was going to lose my license, but would be able to expunge the incident from my record. I knew at this moment that this incident needed to be transformed. This was a horrible thing, but I was determined to make it the best thing that had ever happened to me. This had been the path that I needed to change, although it wasn’t the path I wanted to take…